The Big Boy Bed: A Fruitful Battle

It has been about a month now since we surprised Cooper with his "new" big boy bed. Due to Chris' generous Aunt Terri, we had our choice of either a toddler bed, or a Cargo twin bed lined up. But after Chris' Paw Paw passed away, we had the opportunity of acquiring a matching twin bed and dresser from his home. Sentamentality won out, and now Cooper proudly boasts of the new bed that Paw Paw gave him.

I had collected pieces of a nice denim bedding set over the summer, thanks to a new Dillard's clearance outlet nearby. And, after scoring a few clearance items from Target, it was finally coming together. We sent Coop to spend the night with Gran & Pop on Friday so that Grandma & Pa could help bring in the surprise. Chris and I worked until about 10 that evening getting things cleared out and rearranged. I was reluctant to stop short of completion, but was also suffering from a stomach bug. So, we scrambled to put on the finishing touches and clean up the chaos before Gran & Pop arrived with Cooper Saturday morning. Grandma came over to see the finished product, too.

Cooper was so excited! He just kept climbing up and down and looking all around. His sweet, tired face beamed with pride. He loved it so much that he transitioned to it perfectly and slept peacefully in it that day and has done so ever since...NOT!

I was patting myself on the back, thinking how smart it was to have him sleep over at the grandparent's house just before doing this: 1) he is always so excited that he doesn't sleep much, 2) he'll be exhausted from the lack of sleep, 3) we'll tuck him in and he'll crash. Transition done. I think the stomach bug must have effected my brain!

While he loved the new bed & room, it was quite a BATTLE at first. My tired boy did not nap at all that day, despite the previous night's sporadic sleep. It was like torture time. We tried everything to reassure, pray, comfort, discpline, even bribe him into staying in bed. For the next 2 weeks straight, I HATED naptime. I HATED bedtime. And so did Cooper. He pulled every stall technique in the book--"I need water!" "I need to go tee-tee, again!" That one killed me--we were just on the heels of incredibly successful potty training and I debated fiercely whether to risk an accident by ignoring the possibility that he really needed to go. Even more frustrating was that somehow, no matter how recently he had gone, there was always more! "See, Mommy? I needed to go tee-tee." "Yes, Cooper. You were right. Now it's time to go to bed!"

I found myself getting so frustrated; nothing was working. It was taking an average of 2 hours for him to settle down and actually sleep. If he didn't nap, he didn't get to do ________ (whatever activity had been planned.) We moved bedtime earlier; it took longer for him to go to sleep. We were both more exhausted and more cranky as we became more and more sleep deprived. Chris finally started having some success at night with him. He truly is the most patient man!!

But what was I supposed to do when I was alone with him during the day for nap time? I took a long hard look at how I was approaching this, and it wasn't pretty. God seriously convicted me in one of my BSF lessons that cross-referenced the passage in Galatians 5:19-23, which contrasts the acts of the sinful nature with the fruit of the Spirit. Now, most of those acts of the sinful nature are not my particular weaknesses--I'm not into sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery...Witchcraft is definitely not a temptation for me! But when I read "fits of rage"...that hit me between the eyes. That was the only way to describe how I was handling my frustration. What would Cooper be learning from me? Yikes!

I began praying differently--not just for Cooper's transition, but for the way I was transitioning him. I began to pray (and my BSF group joined me!) that I would be more Christ-like in my parenting, that I would operate from the strength of the Holy Spirit within me and not from my own, and that every action would be motivated by my love for Cooper.

Finally, that 3rd week, we began to see Cooper relax a bit more each day, and I did, too. Peace. And Mommy began to really enjoy naptime and bedtime again! Not every day is a glowing success, but we are all a lot less cranky and a bit more patient.

It is still hard to believe that my baby is so big. We look forward to the many years he'll enjoy this new big boy bed that Paw Paw gave him. And we pray that we can daily demonstrate God's love for him through our actions.

I never would have thought that moving up to a big boy bed would bring about so many life lessons!